1. |
Before I Break
03:58
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I don't know how to keep going on
Don't think anyone's noticed
My body is broken and crying out
All efforts have failed to keep focused
So I lie
I lie awake at night
I try
I try to keep moving
What kind of question is zero to ten
This pain ain't a numbered scale baby
Stabbing my insides a dull then an aching
Think I'm falling apart even before I'm breaking
So I lie
I lie awake at night
I try
I try to keep moving
Moments
Moments of peace are what it's taking
Moments
Moments become everything
Watching the winter pass through glass doors
The storm in my heart became a hurricane
And who gives a fuck what I say anymore
Just let me sit here wishing in vain
So I lie
I lie awake at night
I try
I try to keep moving
Moments
Moments of peace are what it's taking
Moments
Moments become everything
Moments
Moments keeping me
Moments
Moments keeping me
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2. |
Two of Us
04:16
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Two of us big mistake
Cause the two of us
We will break
And I can see it's not the way
Trying to get ahead of what we made
Forget all that has come before
Let it burn the edges of needing more
It's best to sleep than to dream
Love is never as healing as it should be
Two of us still the same
Even when our hearts separate
In a space we create
Love is never enough when we hesitate
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3. |
Complicated Tears
03:27
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I think it's funny the way that I looked up to you
All of the complicated tears I had to prove
I still can't talk about it
I still can't think about the way
You tried to ignore me
But your mind still can't let go
Think of what you wanted
But this love was never just a show to me
They called it human nature I called it poison
Because it doesn't have to be exploitation
I still can't talk about it
I still can't think about the way
You tried to ignore me
But your mind still can't let go
Think of what you wanted
But this love was never just a show to me
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4. |
Julia
03:50
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Julia, everything's changing
I keep seeing your name in lights
While mine is fading
Tell me, how did it happen
One day I found myself on a train that was stopping
Oh take me any other way
I'm begging I don't want to stay
Now I'm scared of what will be of me
Julia, how does it feel
To have them all clamoring at your heels
Did you get to the part yet where betrayal gets real
No matter what they say
Just keep going your own way
Now I'm scared of what will be of me
Did I wait
Wait just a little too long to say
What I know now
I couldn't figure out in a day
So how much longer does a woman need to pay
Before she can go her own way
Before
Before
Before
Julia, is there room left for me
To keep telling the stories of my memories
This restless mind keeps on pulling at me
No matter what they say
There's no keeping me away
Now I"m scared of what will be of me
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5. |
Back to the Wall
04:24
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Late at night
With my back to the wall getting through another evening
Forcing myself to get ahold of all these feelings
Distraction isn't what it used to be anymore
And all alone
With a ghost down the hall my mind's make believing
You're here with me in this city with a grey ceiling
Remember when we planned this long ago
Did we wait too long
Hours turned to years
Ignored our hearts
Listened to our fears
Separate ways threw us out of gear
And the truth is I don't know where to go from here
Is it true
That I only exist when another person sees me
I hold on tight to the light from day to evening
Will it shine through from me to you
And you'll see me too
So I pretend
What else can I do with an end to the beginning
Try to outrun my skin and make meaning
My lungs close tight and remind me I'm still breathing
But I'm still alone
Did we wait too long
Hours turned to years
Ignored our hearts
Listened to our fears
Separate ways threw us out of gear
And the truth is I don't know where to go from here
From here
Did we wait too long
Hours turned to years
Ignored our hearts
Listened to our fears
Separate ways threw us out of gear
And the truth is I don't know where to go from here
From here
From here
From here
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6. |
Permission
04:22
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Tell me again
Why are you worried
Have I given you reason to question me
Been a good girl
Asked for permission
Everything that I want
That I did
Depended on you
Won't keep standing in line
Making up for lost time
Can you hear it now
That voice is mine
Laying it out
All of the reasons
Isn't that what you always told me to do
Bitterness is
The medicine you're tasting
Always knew the truth might hurt you too
Won't keep standing in line
Making up for lost time
Can you hear it now
That voice is mine
Can you hear it now I'm not whispering
Can you hear it now I'm not whispering
Can you hear it now I'm not whispering
Can you hear it now
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7. |
Future Fear
03:34
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Heart beats faster when you come near
This view's hazy but you're in the clear
Tried all night to be sincere
Should know better but I'm not counting years
Maybe it's better this way
We got caught up in the moment
And "It just happened," we'd say
Worry later about what's been broken
Spent all night with you by my side
Barely whispered then you hushed me quiet
Stepped in closer
If it's this then over
I'm the one here without future fear
Maybe it's better this way
We got caught up in the moment
And "It just happened," we'd say
Worry later about what's been broken
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8. |
Beggar Bitter
03:11
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Taught me how to love again
Didn't notice til I let you go
Don't want to do this on my own
Wrapping emotional broken bones
Oh my heartache
Replaying all the lines I wrote
Say them on the telephone
Over and over and over again
I'm telling these lies to anyone who's listening
Oh my heartache
Thinking about what was said
Spinning stories in my head
Hours and hours and hours I've wasted
Trying to figure out how to undo just what I did
Oh my heartache
What a mistake
I'm begging you, begging you, begging
I'm begging you, begging you, begging
I'm begging you, begging you, begging
I'm begging you, begging you, begging
I'm begging you, begging you, begging
I'm begging you, begging you, begging
I'm begging you, begging you, begging
I'm begging you, begging you, begging
Oh my heartache
What a mistake
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Montclaire Portland, Oregon
Montclaire is Portland-based artist Sabrina Velazquez.
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